My Feudal Lord

I have written a post on one of the most amazing books I have read in recent times here. Tehmina Durrani's My Feudal Lord created a huge controversy when it was published actually forcing her to flee Pakistan and take refuge in England. I am hugely impressed with the book. Do check it out. I would love to hear your comments.

Sweet Sunday

I don't think I have ever valued a Sunday as much as I did this time. Till a month back, every day was a Sunday. There was no significance of a Sunday to me. It was all the same. But not anymore.

Work changed all that. Now Sunday is so so special. Thank God, He decided to rest for a day. Imagine if He was a workaholic! A lot of my friends are. They go to work even over the weekends!

Not me. Work is fine. Work is great. But I need my breaks. My Sunday involves waking up late, having a later breakfast of bacon and scrambled eggs, lazing around, maybe watching a movie, an even later lunch cooked to perfection by my Mom. Mmmmm!

Afternoon nap very very important, then maybe go out in the evening with family and friends...maybe not. Depends on the mood. But one thing you will never catch me doing on a Sunday is work!

Sunday, sweet Sunday,
Where art thou gone?
Come back to my fold,
Visit me everyday.
I'll never take you
For granted.And
I will never let you go.

That's my pathetic attempt at poetry. Don't laugh too loud! :))

Lonely

I found this picture and the writing in a forward and it struck me hard. It just rung so true. There are so many of us who face this in our lives...a loved one who may have turned his face away. Not always romantic love....a friend, a relative, anyone. Someone who we have desperately wanted...someone we desperately wanted to be happy...someone we wanted to but could not express ourselves to...someone who turned his or her face away when we needed them the most. A bridge burnt when we felt ourselves to be an island.

Perseverance is the name of the game

Every morning, on my way to work, I pass a park. And every day, I see a strange sight. There, in the middle of the vast field is this tiny little man, stretching and exercising away. He seems completely oblivious to everyone around him. The other people in the park, the people in the bust stop right in front of him, people in the buses and cars passing him by. All staring at him...at the unusual sight.
He catches my eye everyday and I marvel at his tenacity. Dressed in a footballer's attire, even at 9:30 in the morning, when everybody is about their business, his fellow footballers have obviously called it a day, he practices his moves and practices on. I look on fascinated from my window seat in the bus and my mind weaves stories around him.
He is the dwarf G who has been taken into the team recently. Laughed and jeered at by the rest for his short stature, he has a point to prove. G practices an extra three hours every day to make up for his disadvantage. He has to prove to the coach that his decision wasn't wrong. So come sun, rain or cold, he's out there practicing.
That story was a figment of my fascination, but there is no denying that there is something in the little guy that made me feel respect for him and his single mindedness. Hat's off to the perseverance and discipline that he embodies for me. Not many people have it, whether it is because of a disadvantage or otherwise. I wish fervently that I had even an ounce of the self will he obviously does.

Restless

I feel so restless.
Like a bomb's ticking away somewhere and I'm at the end of it.
Don't know why I feel this way.
Is this what people feel when they say they feel a premonition?
It's just the oddest feeling.
And it's a feeling I dont like at all.

Which brings me to what I want right now.
I wish the bad feeling would go away.
I wish if something bad is going to happen, it gets over and done with it.
I wish I would not feel this way anymore.

Cant laugh.
Find it even difficult to smile.
Feeling so clued out.
My best friend used to call me "vagueo" when I used to space out.
Can't seem to find it in me to express myself anymore.

Want to go on a loooong drive with the rain blinding me.
Want to have a drink and numb myself.
Want to be in comforting arms that will take me away from this feeling.
Anything will do.
Just get me out of this feeling.
It's like a silken spider's web smothering me.
I want out.

New blog

Some friends got together and decided to start a literary blog where we will post anything thats related to books. So check it out and feel free to comment.

Pushi

I adopted a baby tiger. I named it Pushi. It's the cutest thing on the planet! Pushi sits at the bottom of my blog. She has the cutest stripes and whiskers. And the most adorable expression in her eyes! She even jumps to catch the mouse pointer and sits down to look at you with begging eyes. I'm really falling for her!

Love

Everybody loves somebody sometime,
Everybody falls in love somehow,
Something your kiss just told me,
My sometime is Now.

Everybody finds somebody someplace,
There's no telling where love may appear,
Something in my heart keeps saying,
My someplace is here.

....Dean Martin


Now isn't that just so beautiful and optimistic? There's just something about jazz that is so elegant! Have a listen to the song if you can. Mmmmmm......

Office and College

Why cant office be more like college and University? Imagine being able to take a leave when you want, and going to work only when there is something that really needs your attention. Leave as early as you want and come in as late. There should be no one to say anything and no one to reprimand. There's more...maybe throw in a few cheap canteens where you can sit and give endless adda over steaming cups of tea and the occasional shared ciggarette, and maybe a nap once in a while in a secluded corner with no one to disturb! Aaah....now that would be paradise! Now I'm missing J.U.! :-(

Not that I'm saying there would be no work done. Of course, there would have to be time for that too! I'm talking about when there is leisure time on hand...and in my job I seem to have plenty!

Pressure

I finally got my hands on some work today. And what work it was! Feel as if my fingers will fall off any moment now. Been typing pretty much for the last 7 or 8 hours and peering into the screen. Whew! Cant beleive I complained even last week of no work! Now I'm stuck with this stuff for the rest of this week! Cant beleive I've actually been writing the same stuff in various ways over and over again all day! Thank God I studied literature! What a life!!!!!

An unjustified craving

Considering the fact that I have already an uncountable number of shoes, don't you think my craving for a new shoe is totally unjustified?

But it's something I just can't help. I saw this absolutely amazing pair of kolhapuri slippers that would go fabulously with my salwar suits and I couldn't buy it! The goddam shop had a sales person who should have got a ghuter medal for being the most unco-operative lazy bum i've ever met!

Not only would he not show me other designs, he would not even give me a bigger size! That would actually involve him bending down, opening a cupboard and perusing its contents with some focus, locate the necessary item and then slip it onto my foot! Ooof...too much work!

So I ended up walking out of the shop disgusted, frustrated and completely irritated, only to end up dreaming of the shoe and thinking of ways I can go back to cooerce the gentleman concerned to show me a bigger size!

I Take back what I said

I take back most of the nasty things I said about my job. And there's only one reason for that. I discovered www.gutenberg.com . I was introduced to the pleasures of online reading. Though it was really odd reading a novel on the computer, I must say, not only did it do away with my boredom, but also gave me great pleasure.

I always wanted to read Sense and Sensiblity and now I had the chance to read it, mostly uninterrupted for hours on end. Whoever came up with the idea of online libraries has earned kudos from me! I finished the novel in two days and now intend to embark on Balzac. Any suggestions which his better novels are?

I must say that this is the most ugly book cover I have seen though, and the book reads a bit like a Mills and Boon, with more twists and turns and as many cliches. A very very entertaining read indeed!

anger management

I think one of the courses that should be made compulsory in every school and college is anger management. Dont be fooled by those people who seem to never get angry. They are really not dealing with their anger any better than those of us who show it. They just internalise it and put a lid on it, till one day....booom!!

And then there are those who cannot control their anger. They seem to blow their lid at the slightest provocation. Certainly very unfair to those who have to bear the brunt of it. Even if they are in a perfectly calm mood, they cant help but get angry too.Is anger the only reply to anger?Cant it be dealt with in a better way? Isnt there a solution for any of these?

There must be.The only one I can think of is anger management classes made compulsory. Very very important. One of life's lessons.

Sadness in your eyes

Happiness and sadness....all relative! Where would happiness be without its brother, sadness? I have often wondered why it is when we are happy..ecstatic even, that its just a look or a word that can bring us crashing down?

A happy-go-lucky person, my life seems to revolve around the smiles I see in people's eyes. In their eyes, because a smile on someone's lips, that do not reach the eyes, holds no importance for me.

And it is this smile that I see lacking when I look at your eyes at times, even when you are smiling or laughing. Is that laugh there on those lips only to please me? Is that smile there to only fool me?

My eyes are mirrors of yours....sadness in my eyes.....and yet a strange happiness in my soul.

Sooner or later, sadness will dissipate. Happiness will shine once again...and my eyes will laugh again. I know that...I believe that....for I cannot live in eternal sadness...and I hope neither can you.

Soon....soon...soon.....

My workplace is a six working day kind, with alternate saturdays off. At least that was the premise I joined on. Seems as if the next Saturday, that I was looking forward to, is a working day too, because of some off-day they got which they are making up for! That means three working saturdays one after the other! And I didnt even join when the office folk got the holiday for which they are making up! Unfair or what!!! I feel like a good Waaaaah!!!!

This is what I do all day!! Whether its office or home! Its a wonder I'm beginning to feel like a geek!

Work is supposed to be the antidote to leisure. Or so I thought. But imagine being in an environment where you have been employed, are getting payed and yet have absolutely nothing to do! This is what I discovered the case to be when I joined my present job. No work and still getting paid!! My friends were overjoyed for me! Wow..thats so cool! But is it? Is sitting in front of the computer for ten hours a day with nothing to do really so cool? I feel my leisure would have been far more stimulating had I got my hands on some work. Isnt that the whole reason why anyone joins work in the first place? I still remember the thrills of sneaking away from my previous workplace for a quick shopping spree in New Market, or getting a short nap in my cabin with my pen in my hand and my hand in my head. Too much leisure makes me bored. It makes me tired. It makes me sick! I wonder who wouldnt agree!

hi everyone,

after asking somak what a blog was more than a year ago,now i've finally managed to create one!cant wait to interact in this new method!i must say im quite excited.not only do i get to keep in touch with everyone,but also post my thoughts and feelings.see more of everyone soon!